Chapter 1

I glanced down at my watch. 10:00 PM. Damn it. I’ve never left Scott with Jane for so long. I dropped him off this morning at 6:00, so I could go to my morning waitress job. Then, I spend the rest of the day working at Starbucks. Being around coffee this much isn’t good, trust me. Even with working two jobs a day, I still can barely support my three-month year old son and myself. It’s because I got pregnant at eighteen and dropped out of college. I stress out at the thought that he’s never going to get a good life because of my stupid decisions. Maybe I should have gone with my dad’s orders and given him up. It would be better for him. But then I think about the first time I ever held him in my arms. The moment I realized that I brought him into this world and that he’s mine was amazing. That this little baby needs me- and only me- to survive. It’s the best feeling in the world. Instead of being with my sweet little baby boy though, now I was working behind a counter at Starbucks. The only fun part of this job was the people watching. You always get different type of people. It’s always a challenge to try and please so many different people.

“Marie?” A shocked voice asked me. A voice that I recognized way too well, a voice that I grew up with.

“There’s no Marie here.” I said refusing to turn around and trying to disguise my voice.

“Marie, cut the shit. I haven’t talked to you in four years, but I saw you last year at Christmas. Turn around.” The voice ordered, now demanding. He still has the bossy oldest brother personality, even after all these years.

“Yes, Eric?” I asked timidly.

Instead of anger for not keeping in contact with him, he broke into a wide smile. “Come over here so I can give you a hug.” I’m surprised he’s so happy to see me even though we were neighbors our lives. I was always the annoying little sister that tried to play in all of their games.

I looked around, there were customers around and I was the only employer closing up. I stepped out from the counter. “I thought you had a game tonight?” I didn’t follow the Hurricanes because it might hurt too much; I avoid pain at all costs. But hockey is so big around here that there was no way I didn’t here the buzz about the games each night.

His warm, large arms wrapped around my slim body. I tried to not let my mind wonder about how much he looks and feel like his younger brother.

“I did, but Tanya gets so tired taking care of Parker and her favorite coffee is from Starbucks, so I figured I would pick her some up.” Eric explained.

“Tanya? Parker?” I asked feeling confused with the names that he threw around.

He grinned broadly. “I forgot, you’ve been A-WOL for the past couple years. Tanya is my wife and Parker is my beautiful baby boy.” He said proudly.

I squeezed his arm. “Good work Eric.”

“So what’s up with you? What made you decide to go to college in Raleigh?” Eric asked me.

I turned away from him and started to fiddle with the coffee filters. “I’m actually not going to college.”

“What? Why?” He asked shocked.

“Other things have come up in my life.” I explained vaguely while shrugging my shoulders.

“Like what?” Eric asked curiously. I brushed past him and switched the shop sign to closed and turned off all of the coffee makers. “Just some different stuff.”

“Ohhh okay. Fine, be mysterious.” He said grumpily. “At least let me give you a ride home.”

That I could agree to. I never look forward to the cold ten-block walk in the dark in a bad part of town. I followed him to the car and slid into the front seat. On the dashboard was a sticky note that said “Call Jordan.” I tried not to wince and looked away from it. Eric studied me for a moment but didn’t say anything; he just flipped on the radio. This was why I loved Eric so much, he never pushed you. We chitchatted about worthless information the whole time, such as the farm and his parents. We made sure to never talk about his brother.

I heard him gasp quietly when he saw the horrible state some of the houses were in and the large men that would stare at the car. “Mar, what are you doing here?”

He brought up a sensitive point in my life. I hate the bad neighborhood that I have provided my son with. But it’s the only place I can afford and lately I can barely even afford it.

“It’s what I can afford. So just stop questioning every damn thing in my life.” I snapped. He parked before holding his hands up. “Listen I’m sorry that we lost touch. I kept talking to your brothers but after what happened with you and J-“

“No, it’s fine I completely understand.” I said quickly cutting him off. He handed me a slip of paper with his number in it and I stuffed it into my pocket.

“Marie, is that you? Scott has been crying all night for you, thank goodness you’re home.” Jane yelled out from her porch.

Shit. “Who’s Scott?” Eric asked.

“My dog.” I jumped out of the car. “Thank you so much. Talk to you later Eric.” I said before sprinting into Jane’s house. Jane reminded me so much of my grandmother. The way she dressed and especially the way her house smelled. “I am so sorry Jane. I just needed to pick up that night shift.”

She smiled at me before handing me a warm cookie. “Don’t worry honey, I got to show him all to all of my friends.” She frowned before continuing, “but then he started crying and just wouldn’t stop, I couldn’t find anything.” I went over to his crib and picked him up and he almost instantly stopped crying.

Jane chuckled. “My, my, my. I’ve never seen a boy so attached to his Momma.” She handed me a plate of food. “I doubt you’ve had anything, so have our left-overs.”

I smiled, it’s clear that I would die without Jane. “Thank you so much Jane, I’m sorry Scott was such a pain. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I called out before shutting her door and walking the four feet to mine. I made sure I firmly locked and dead-bolted the door and closed all the blinds. Then, I took the time to stare into my baby boy’s blue eyes that looked exactly like his fathers and the blonde fuzz that was already growing. He was looking more and more like Jordan every day.